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"Second, you need to get rid of all that hair." She waved a hand vaguelyat his beard, as well as his forearms. "You'll go to a clinic of ours,they'll take care of you. Third, start taking these tablets, once a daybefore bed." She tossed him a bottle of pills, which he fumbled and had toretrieve from the floor. "What's in them?" he asked, but she ignored him."And fourth, you need to be ready for an assignment some time in the nexttwo or three weeks. It will be a probationary job. You do it properly, youstart getting regular work at the SiFu Club." She noticed his puzzledreaction to the name. "That's the, ah, polite name we give it in public,right?" He nodded. "Here," she continued, "take this phone - we'll use itto get in touch, and you'll also find it has details of your appointmentsat the clinic."Eric took the proffered phone, staring at it dubiously. "What kind ofclinic? And what sort of assignment will it be? Will I -" Look," she said, cutting him off, and reaching over to flip. It all started when I got a call from someone with the Sally Oprah Donahue Show. Their schedule said it was time to put a crossdresser on exhibit and they wondered if I was interested. Someone down there had been reading my columns, it seems. I patiently explained that I was known as the Bearded Lady for good reason; I had a full, dark, bushy beard and was unlikely to be seen as a woman.The only response was: "Hey - kinky. That's great! The audience will love it."So I agreed, after all I consider myself second only to Rush Limbaugh as a font of wisdom on all subjects, and even he wouldn't be as well informed as I on crossdressing. I dug the wig out of the recesses of closet, found something to wear in my $9.99 or less wardrobe that matched my reddish beard and went forth unto the Studio, suitcase in hand. You didn't think I would try and go dressed, did you? The makeup person didn't bat an eye at me, but then there was a 4' tall green alien on my left and two Elvis clones on my left,.
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